I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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