went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
