does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
