Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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