i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
