she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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