Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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