I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
