a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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