I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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