Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
