What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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