Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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