why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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