I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
