you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
