I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
