ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
