I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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