He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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