so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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