I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
