We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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