I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
