What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
