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a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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