I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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