Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
