He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
