im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
he was CRYING into my vagina
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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