the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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