I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize