I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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