do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
