it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
