Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
