Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
