jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
