I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
