Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Farmville is her only friend.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
