I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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