my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize