What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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