Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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