ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
