I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
