Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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