last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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