Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I wanna passion pit in your ass
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
