This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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