I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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