Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
