I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
The struggles of a small town man whore
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
