it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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