I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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